Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Beware of Kids!

Yes, they are cute but there are times when they can be such brats. I can deal patiently with their naughtiness and tantrums but when, in all their innocence, they make you go crimson in the face with embarassment, well – that’s when I could, with the greatest pleasure, give them a good hiding!

My mother used to relate an incident every time the conversation revolved around the ‘innocent’ utterances of children. Two of my siblings – shall we call them Georgy and Porgy?- had this habit of helping themselves to snacks served for guests at the dining table while the latter were being entertained. Once they(Georgy and Porgy) nearly cleared all the plates while the guests were still there, and so amma thought that the time had come to discipline them. She sternly told them not to touch anything on the table in the presence of guests, but could help themselves freely to whatever they wanted once they left. This instruction was given while waiting for some half a dozen very sophisticated (US returned) relatives who had terrible airs about them – you know the type that makes you uneasy, the type you have to suffer whether you like it or not, the type before whom your image is very important to you.

The guests arrived and the table was set and all the home made goodies spread out. The guests sat at the dining table and started helping themselves to the snacks. Georgy and Porgy waited, on the opposite sides of the room, each leaning on the walls on his side, eyeing the table. Amma was keeping an eye on them and she was quietly amused at the way they were ogling at their favourite snacks. It was torture for them, she could see, and every time they looked pleadingly at her, she’d shake her head firmly, a stern look on her face.

The guests took an unusually long time at the dining table, talking and picking something or the other from the plates now and then.

And Georgie and Porgy began to get impatient. Georgy appeared to be the one whose self-restraint had reached the tether end, for he would move towards the table as though mesmerized and magnetically drawn by something there. Amma would then be instantly at his side, gripping his arm firmly and directing him back to his position against the wall. Porgy did not leave his wall but the tortured expression on his face was so comical that amma had difficulty trying to control her laughter. But she was pleased - with herself that she could discipline them, and her little boys that they could exercise that much of control over themselves. Just then she noticed that Georgy had left his wall and was walking towards the table as though in a trance. She was on Porgy’s side of the table. She started off quickly towards Georgy, but before she could reach him, there he stood between two chairs, and with excitement bordering on hysteria , he was pointing out the various snacks dishes as shouted out to Porgy: ‘Porgy, when these people go, you take avalose unda (index finger touching the avalose unda plate) and cheeda (index finger touching the cheeda plate) and I’ll take achappam(streaching across the table to touch the plate) and cake and mysore pak”. The last two items were to his left and right, and he stretched out his hands to point them out simultaneously, making him look like a choir conductor in the grip of an ecstatic frenzy.

Poor amma. Though she could laugh heartily each time she related this incident, I can imagine how terribly embarrassed she must have been! She nearly fainted with mortification but fitted a plastic smile which she beamed at the American returned guests, who were quickly getting up to make way for Georgy and Porgy who had already launched a violent attack on the dining table.


  1. Aww come on! Heck where a grown up (in the likes of self) plotted these food-attacks in mind, he just blurted it out. Who couldnt help adore such innocent outbursts! I am sure the whole gang was more entertained than embarassed!

  2. ha ha....
    that was hilarious!! :-D
    I was georgie/porgy not many years back..And I can completely relate with your mother..
    My mom gave me the same warnings too..but she wasn't as nice..and therefore less successful..:-P

    She told us not to take the snacks that were supposed to be served for visitors..She would hide it in the darkest corners of the house..and yet each time we (me n my brother) emerged victorious..:-)

    Ha..the good old days!!
    Come on..children can never be brats :-P !!!! Agreed they make you go mad...but they are fun..

    PS: A welcome change from posts on the depressive state of affairs in our state!! :-) Looking forward to more entries in "lighter vein"

  3. Dear Maa'm,
    It's a laugh riot. I just want to roll all over the floor and laugh. But unfortunately am at office. May be because I can identify Gregorie and Porgy quite well. Amazing sense of humour. But I don't think that you'll find any more 'Porgys' in the present generation, they are too 'disciplined' to initiate an attck on 'avalosundas' and 'achappams'.

  4. too good...i can see myself and bro somewhere in there..we were notorious for finishing of the 'Squash' reserved for guests..and often was kept in secret chambers in the kitchen...but they were mistaken as our sense of smell was good enough!! ;-P

  5. So funny. I can totally relate to 'Georgy n' Porgy'. I was told the same thing when I was a kid. I was also told something else too. Whenever we went to some other house and they offered us snacks, juice and what not... i was supposed to politely take only one piece of what was offered. But me being a foodie, couldn't resist sometimes. Now, when i go to our neighbour's with my nephew(3 1/2 yrs), i find myself echoing my mom in somewhat the same lines. This is a cycle of life , I guess.

  6. Ohh could so see self there at wanting to see the guests go!

    Kochuthresiamma p.j,
    Reached here from another blog. Good one.

  7. did georgy porgy read this?

  8. @ renu
    porgy is no more. Georgy-shall ask him to read

  9. it was them! i was under the impression it was the younger lot!

  10. great read. literally made my face go all red trying to rein in teh laughter. didnt want the whole office floor giving me strange looks. :)


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