Monday, January 04, 2010

God's pet

I am God’s favourite.

Now hang on! Don’t jump to the conclusion that all my castles in the air have materialized into bricks and mortar.

No. Far from it. Far far from it.

Guess that wil happen someday. But by then, I’d, perhaps, have made greater acquisitions besides which all those realized castles will pale into insignificance.

What irony, eh?

The long and short of it is, our aery castles are not what really matter. They turn out to be false dreams. False in the sense they limit our aspirations to easily accessible destinations.

If God picks you as his favourite, the first thing he will do is to destroy those castles, those limiting dreams that cut short ‘a branch that might have grown full straight’.

Guess you might have recognized the last quote. Yes. It is from Marlowe's Dr. Faustus – which tells the story of that brilliant versatile genius who turned to necromancy to give substance to the castles he had built in the air. Remember what a pathetic figure he was at the end of the show? Screaming and yelling for another chance, having realized he had been chasing the wrong dreams! Poor man! The guy ignored that spark which humans tend to ignore, while chasing castles without assessing their worth.

So if your castles start vanishing from your horizons, do not worry, my dear friends. God has picked you. You need not ask to be picked. It is not your choice. It is His.

Now you may ask, why does he pick A, V, L, and Z only and leave out the rest? My answers:
1. I don’t know. God’s logic is light years away from human’s. One life time isn’t enough to travel all that distance. So better to know our limitations and leave it at that.
That’s frustrating, you might say. Yes, it is. But there is a formula which can tackle that frustration. It is: THY WILL BE DONE. It works, you know. Just try it, and see for yourself.
2. You will not really pose this query if you know what it is to be in the A, V, L, Z league. Have you read the Book of Job? Before you ask to be in the AVLZ league, read it. You’ll kick yourself for even wondering at God’s partiality, and you will shout out to him, SPARE ME LORD. I DON’T WANT TO BE YOUR FAVOURITE.

But it’s of no use, you know. Like I said, the option is not yours. The choice is His. And if you are chosen, you’ve had it.

Poor Job, he just wanted to lead a quiet life, minding his own business. And see what happened. He was chosen as a favourite. And he lost everything. His land, belongings, children. On top of that he got the worst diseases one can imagine – both painful, and in appearance real eye sore that people avoided him like plague. Some of the images of him dealing with his scaling skin are ugh! Yukky, to say the least.

But he came out of it! Yes, he did. You know how?

No. don’t think he grinned and bore it like a true stoic. He didn’t. He cribbed a lot. And cursed a lot too. He cursed the day that he was born and wanted that day to be deleted from the history of man!
But he didn’t curse the architect of his misery. He didn’t look up at the abode of his God and curse! For he KNEW, up there was a force which had a REASON for piling these misfortunes on him. Job trusted him absolutely. He knew he will not be abandoned. And he waited.

And one fine day, that force talked to him. Yes. God came down to speak to man to salute his spirit – that never say die attitude anchored in TRUST.

At this point, let’s just take a look at what this ‘trust’ implies. It means humility. An acknowledgement of human limitations. An absence of arrogance. A realization that nothing is really in our hands.

I must admit there was a point in my life when I thought I could turn the world around my little finger! Set your target, go after it – and it is yours. I think that cockiness showed even in my gait. And then it happened. I was diagnosed with a deadly disease! Down came crashing my arrogant philosophy. It overhauled me, my very thinking process.

Like a flash it came to me. I was a modern day Job. I was handpicked. I was the chosen one. Isn’t that a privilege?

I must admit it was with great reluctance that I accepted my recruitment into the AVLZ league. True, I wag my forefinger up at that divine manipulator on and off and tell him, “Hey, I didn’t ask for this privilege”. Then I heave a sigh of resignation and tell myself “Ok, if I am destined for something, there is no running away from it. After all, it’s HIS choice. He’ll take care”.

Believe it or not, that dialogue (monologue?) makes me FEEL GOOD.

And I move on. It’s not difficult, you know. This autosuggestion can work miracles.

I don’t know how I am going to link up what now follows with the rest of this piece. There is no apparent connection. Maybe you can find the link. But I feel I must conclude this piece with it ‘cos from the moment I started writing this, that telephone conversation kept coming to my mind.

I was talking over the phone to my friend Sister GM, who is a nun – one of the finest human beings I have ever come across. She was one of the few persons I chose to talk to after my diagnosis. I told her I’ll be coming down to Kochin for treatment ‘cos Dr.Gangadharan, the oncologist, is being recommended even by the doctors of St. John’s Medical College.

Silence at the other end. And then in a subdued, strange voice: “Is it to be Dr. Gangadharan?"

Despite being updated about my medical condition, she was hoping against hope for some miracle that would deflect my road to treatment from the Oncology Department. Dr. Gangadharan, for the layman, meant nothing pleasant. He was associated with the killer disease.

A year later, I told Sister GM: “Sister, I consider myself privileged to have been Dr. Gangadharan’s patient”.

I don’t think she was too surprised at what I said. She had been closely following my treatment and had associated herself with Dr. Gangadharan during this period for organizing awareness lectures.

Honest. I simply don’t see the connection between the last episode I mentioned and the rest of the post. It could have been the talk of ‘privilege’ that took my mind to this doctor who is doing God’s own work in this pain filled world.

Or is it that I found some answer to the Job predicament in Dr. Gangadharan? You know something like a model for the castles in the air that evolved human beings should build?

Am not sure.

Any ideas?

13 comments:

  1. Thank you for this wonderful post teacher. There is no better note than this to start the new year. Have a wonderful year 2010. God continue to bless you!
    shy

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shy
    thanks for the wishes. may 2010 be a great year for you. God bless

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm God's favorite as well.. But sometimes it takes a lot of courage to accept that fact..
    Anyway Happy New Year m'am :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. so being a favorite isn't always a good thing, is it?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thank you for your wishes. Teacher, I sent the link to this post to some of friends as New year note. hope you don't mind.

    shy

    ReplyDelete
  6. @shy
    not at all. am honoured you think it worth forwarding.

    @blunt edges
    :-)

    @ Dhanya
    long time Dhanya. May 2010 be a happy and peaceful year for you.God bless.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I read all ur posts in ur other blog and cant even begin to imagine the extent of ur troubled thoughts.

    Like u said, its during moments like these it is brought home that nothing is in our hands!!!


    p.s: Will U come over to my blog….I need to give u something:-)!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. This is new theology to me.

    My knowledge of Bible doesnt teach me that God gives deadly diseases to those whom he loves most.Then He must be a sadistic God.It was not God who gave Job all sicknesses,but Satan.God bragged to the devil about Job,and permitted him to be tested by the devil.

    We have all had a trial or temptation at one point or another in our lives. Have you ever considered where this temptation came from? In both the Old Testament and New Testament, the words for temptation, testing and trial are synonymous. 1 Cor 10:13 tells us that the temptations we experience are common to man and that God will not tempt (test) us more than we are able but will also provide us with a way to escape that test or temptation.
    God probably doesnt interfere with the laws of nature.And however good a doctor is ,he cannot heal anyone unless he was intended to be healed.I have often seen people relating the illness,cancer,and healing to God.Why not about a heart attack? Probably there is no time for God to act? Approximately 30% of people who develope heart attck die before they reach hospital.Only those who are destined to survive,reach a hospital. Ultimately,it is much more than the skills of the doctor. If you beleive in healing by God,why do you mention a highly recommended doctor?Or did God himself recommend him to you?
    Roughly 2000 cancer patients attend the Regional Cancer Centre a day.I have seen some of the most compassionate doctors there.It is pathetic that some of the doctors use institutions to build up their skills and reputation and then turn around to degrade their mentor.And it is sad that knowledgeable people become mouth pieces of practitioners.Or is it that poor people are just thrown by God himself to governmental institutions to be killed by the doctors there?
    And then, at the end, God gave Job much more than what was taken from him.God doesnt destroy castles or mudhouses.He gives,but doesnot take away.

    ReplyDelete
  9. @ Dr Antony
    heavens! that's no theology. am no theologian either.
    sometimes, when you weather the storms of life, certain attitudes evolve and come to your rescue. and you believe in them. sometimes u feel like sharing them. it's my take. just that. MY take.
    and you have taken me too literally. an allegory is only an allegory.
    and i wasnt propogating any doctor. all i meant to say was that through our association with a particular person, i came to understand that our life should extend beyond the little family in which we move. success and fulfilment cannot be defined within the limits of our immedite social circle. many may not agree, but i have come to redefine my idea of meaningful existence after i saw the way this doctor functions.that's all.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Guess what? You are my favorite too! Oh but I am not wrecking your castles :-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm sorry I didnt express myself well...will u do me the honour of accepting this award:-)

    link: http://konnotation.blogspot.com/2010/01/spreading-some-cheer.html

    ReplyDelete
  12. Book Of Job is a favorite of mine and it is in the back of my mind when trying to find answers for diffcult questions. I am no where in the same 'league' as you and may not understand all of it as well but thanks for this post. It is good to have just read it. Dr.Gangadharan is totally in place in this post.
    -lan

    ReplyDelete
  13. @ ian
    Thanks for visiting

    @ reflections
    have picked up the award and posted it on my site.
    thanks a lot. truly honoured

    @ cris
    thanks. flattered.

    ReplyDelete

Dear visitors, dont run away without leaving behind something for me :-)
By the way, if your comment does not get posted at the first click, just click once more.